Falling down isn't failure, Staying down is: The power of starting again✨

Hey, welcome back to my blog.

It’s been a while. Honestly, it feels like forever since I last sat down and wrote anything. I’ve taken some time to focus on myself, to reset and really lock in. I bought myself one of the treadmills from TikTok shop, I am a sucker for a trend and I haven’t looked back.

As someone who doesn’t really like running outside, I find this perfect, if I can’t sleep, I can just walk until I’m tired haha.

This post is for anyone who feels stuck, like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there more than once. If that’s where you are right now, I want you to know something simple but important.

Life does get better.

Not overnight. Not all at once. But it does.

What matters most is your mindset. When everything feels out of control, focus on what is in your control, even if it’s something small. Those small steps are what slowly move you forward. It’s never too late to reset. You’re never too old to set a new goal, have a new dream, or work on yourself. Life will knock you down, sometimes what feels like rejection is actually redirection. When one path ends, another one opens, you just might not see it straight away.

My Journey From Discipline to losing my way

Recently, I’ve been focusing a lot on personal growth and healing. I’ve explored things like crystals, the law of attraction and Buddhism. Each one offers a different perspective and learning from them has helped me make sense of things in my own way.

I’ve always wanted to help people. I truly believe in the idea that if you didn’t come from a safe place, become one. It’s something I try to live by. Even small things, like smiling at someone or staying kind in a negative environment, matter more than people realise.

Sport has always been a big part of my life. I started with Jujitsu, then moved into boxing, and now kickboxing. I first got into fitness at around 13, after my parents divorced. I moved in with my dad and started focusing on bettering myself. I had already lost weight and wanted to tone up, so I gave boxing a go and from that moment, I never looked back.

At first, I felt completely out of my depth. I was insecure, uncomfortable and new to it all. Something about boxing clicked. It challenged me in a way nothing else had. It became a huge part of who I am. Really, it became who I am.

The Reality of Boxing No One Talks About

Boxing gave me discipline, confidence, and drive, but there’s also a side people don’t talk about enough.

Weight.

The pressure to stay within strict weight categories can take a real toll. For me, it led to an unhealthy relationship with food.

I remember being 15, preparing for a fight and missing weight because I started my period. I felt embarrassed, like I had failed, even though it wasn’t something I could control. The fight didn’t go ahead. She weighed in lighter and unfortunately I weighed in heavier because of my period, so the difference wasn’t allowed. Boxing has extremely strict weight categories and of course I understand why. It was a hard pill to swallow.

That moment stuck with me.

After that, I became obsessed with my weight. I was training almost every day and barely eating. At the time, it felt normal but looking back now, it really wasn’t. I honestly think more support is needed around this side of the sport. Luckily, I never had to cut weight dangerously close to a fight but it really is something that can be very damaging, not just for girls, but for boys and children too.

Losing Myself, injury and rock bottom

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum, being a high performing athlete and then feeling completely lost. After an injury and struggles with my mental health, I hit a really low point. I lost my routine, my confidence and my sense of purpose. When you’re in that place, it’s hard to care about anything. I stopped looking after myself. I didn’t feel like me anymore and that negative mindset made everything worse. Eventually, I reached a point where I knew something had to change. Like I’ve said before, when you put the gloves on, they’re on for life. You never lose that hunger for the sport, I just wanted to be back in the ring where I belong.

Trying to fix everything and why it didn't work

Between 2020 and 2024, I tried everything to get back on track.

Different diets, intense workouts, home routines but nothing really worked. I was also dealing with things like PCOS, stress and other health challenges, which made everything harder. Some days I didn't even want to get out of bed and I was working 15 hour days in a supported living home. Some things worked temporarily but they weren’t sustainable. I realised I needed to understand my body instead of fighting against it. That’s when things slowly started to shift. I did try a gluten and dairy free diet which helped with bloating but I love my bread and cheese too much so it didn't last long.

The turning point

Things didn’t change all at once, they did start to change when I focused on what I could control. I started rebuilding from the inside out. I found comfort in faith, in learning and in slowing down enough to actually listen to myself. I’m still not where I want to be yet but I am miles away from where I was and that’s what matters. There were times I genuinely didn’t see a way forward. Times where I questioned everything. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I went through it all. Something in me kept going, even if it was just getting out of bed each day.

Learning to ask for help

For a long time, I tried to handle everything on my own.

I’ve always been someone who just pushes through, but I’ve learnt that asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s necessary. You don’t have to do everything alone. Even just letting friends and family back into my life after shutting them out for so long felt like a relief.

Rebuilding one step at a time

Boxing taught me something I will always carry with me.

Once you start, it never really leaves you.

Even if I don’t fight forever, I know I’ll always train and stay connected to it in some way. It’s part of me, it is who I am and I can't change that.

Writing has become another outlet for me. Since starting my blog, I’ve realised how much I love sharing my experiences, not because I have everything figured out, but because I don’t and I know what it feels like to struggle without support.

Why I share this

I want this space to feel safe. My blog is anonymous and I don't know who views it, only numbers. I don't care about that, whoever views my blogs, I hope they leave knowing they're a little less alone in this crazy world. I write because I like it and I write because I want to help others. That is all I ever wanted.

If you’re reading this and you feel lost, stuck or like there’s no way out, I see you. I’ve been there. If my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth sharing. I share because I care. It sounds a bit cringe, but I genuinely mean it. I just want to see everyone do well in life and I believe we should all support each other. We are all fighting battles that no one sees.

Life does get better.

Focus on what you can control. Take small steps. Be patient with yourself.

And remember

Falling down isn’t failure, staying there is.

Look out for another blog soon.

Chloe x