🦠❓Back to life, back to reality.. or is it?❓🦠

It’s around 1:30 a.m. on a Thursday, and I feel awful — sleep is impossible. This pandemic has taken a toll on everyone, and the lack of routine and structure in daily life has affected me deeply.

I’m sitting on my bed in my Grinch pyjamas, scrolling through memories from last year, realising just how much has changed. Now, our lives are filled with face masks, hand sanitiser, and uncertainty.

I have a wax melt burning in my room, filling the space with a lovely scent. The only sound is my fingers typing this blog — a way for me to release my thoughts. Feel free to read my brain junk…

Tonight, as I scrolled through social media (as you do), I came across a video captioned: “There are 4 things you cannot get back in life.” Normally, I skip these videos, preferring to read instead, but this one stuck with me.

The four things are:

1. The word after it is said…

2. An opportunity after it is missed…

3. Time after it has gone…

4. Trust after it is lost…

Reading these really hit me. Time is so precious. I’ll never be 20 again, or 10, and it’s impossible to get those years back. It’s a stark reminder to value the moments we have.

I’ve had some of the toughest years of my life — experiences I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But I’ve also had years filled with happiness and contentment. Life is like a book: you can’t skip chapters. Sometimes you have to get through the tough, boring parts to reach the good stuff in the middle.

Yesterday was my last day working from home — at least for now. I felt mixed emotions: happy to return to the shop and see colleagues and customers, but also unsure. Home feels safe. Lately, I haven’t been well. I’ve put on some weight and have been feeling low. I won’t go into the details, as it’s personal and still under investigation, but I’ve never felt quite so awful in myself.

Usually, I love Christmas — the tree up, Grinch on TV, my favourite pyjamas. This year feels different. Not only has my health been a challenge, but the cancellation of Christmas markets has dampened the festive spirit. For me, visiting the local Christmas market has become a cherished tradition with my boyfriend, Jamie. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas without it.

Even though lockdown has ended, many people will still feel trapped. Isolation has been a huge part of this year, and getting back to “normal” will be a challenge. I’ve done all my Christmas shopping online to avoid the anxiety of crowded shops.

I’m lucky to have loved ones around me and will have a lovely Christmas, but I know many people won’t. I can’t imagine what it’s like for those relying on food banks or struggling on the streets. Last year, my workplace collected donations for our local food bank, and this year it will be even more important.

More than ever, people need to come together — whether by donating food, volunteering, or just offering their time. Time is precious, and sometimes all it takes is asking someone, “How are you?” to make a huge difference in their day.

Thank you for reading my blog. There wasn’t much structure to this one — early-morning thoughts, perhaps — but typing out my feelings helps me get them off my chest. I’d encourage you to do the same!

I’ll try to write another blog soon. I have a few important days ahead, so please bear with me, and keep an eye out for the next one.

Lots of love,

Chloe x